Lots of R's

First of all--HOLLA!! I have missed you guys so much! Also, I have noticed a few new readers in my last posts, and I just wanted to say welcome! Hope you stick around and that I don't scare you off with this huuuuuugee post that I'm about to proffer.

I have been super busy with the holidays and family, but also thinking a lot about the past year and all it has brought for me. I have also been thinking a lot about the blog...

...and pondering if I should keep it going in the new year. There are several reasons for this thought process. First of all, I started this blog back in May, when I was in quite a different frame of mind. I was embattled in my eating disorder, and this blog served as an excellent tool to aide me in my recovery ( you can read more about that here). I have made significant strides since than and have forsaken some of the things that "kept" me sick, were no longer serving their positive purpose in my life, or were otherwise keeping me tied to the identity of someone suffering with anorexia.

I was worried that blogging was only serving to make me "accountable" for the food I was eating, instead of the fun I was supposed to be having with it. Hope that makes sense. However, I have come to the conclusion that this blog has been far more helpful than hurtful for me as I move forward in recovery. Because I have a forum to vent my frustrations and fears, as well as my accomplishments, I know that I have been able to move farther ahead. Mostly thanks to so many of the awesome readers I have and friends that I have made. It is so incredible to know that I have people who "get" me, and my food!

You have stood by me this year as I have tried many new things, from avocados, to hamburgers, to some very Freaky Foods; and you all have helped me learn so much, too! Thank you and Happy New Year!!

Anyway, I am grateful for my little bitty blog and for the job it does in helping me keep track of the bigger picture. I am working on letting go of a lot of things, and that includes my all or nothing mentality. Here are some thoughts that I think will help me align my blogging priorities with the rest of my LIFE--

Realizations/revelations:

• Freaky Food Friday does not have to be EVERY Friday
• Sammie Saturday does not have to occur EVERY Saturday
• If I do not post for a few days, or a week or even two weeks, no one is going to miss me THAT BAD.
• I do not have to read every blog post or be fantastically witty and/or snarky in every single post of my own. Sometimes I don't have anything interesting to post, but sometimes that can be just as interesting--it will be up up me to make that call.

In addition to realizations and revelations, I have also been pondering another "R." Resolutions. Now, I am not typically a person who makes New Years Resolutions. I have never seen the need for it because I usually just decide to do things and then do them. I don't always appreciate the idea of working up to a goal because it often seems it takes more effort to get there than to just get going! However, because so much has occurred in 2009 (both personally and food-related), the start of 2010 seems like a good time to work in some modified lifestyle aspects.

Meatless Mondays: This idea came about for a variety of reasons. First, we spend an atrocious amount of money on food. Most of this is my problem. D would be content eating peanut butter (an Nutella) sandwiches, tuna fish and $.25 burritos. I, on the other hand, prefer 5 dollar jars of nut butters, copious amounts of FRESH fruit and vegetables (2 lb bag of baby carrots, you ain't got nuthin on me!), and any type of new, cool, healthy, heard-about food product.

Also, honestly, I am at a point in my recovery where I find it extraordinarily difficult to both buy and deny myself foods that were once restricted. Often times I find myself standing in the grocery aisle having a five minute debate over which type of bagels or crackers to buy (regular or "lite," whole grain or whole wheat, wheat or white, cheese or herb, this kind or that kind). It's exhausting and much too emotionally investing, so there are instances where I just throw both things in the cart so I come stop being a schizo in public. Not that I do this all the time. I really try not to make it a habit,and on the occasion where we find ourselves with 6 different types of cereal or 4 boxes of crackers in the cupboard, I will usually just scratch those items off my list for a week or so until our supply has calmed down.

On the other hand, as much as I would be content with a plate full of broccoli for dinner, I try to appease Dustin every once in a while with things like hamburgers, chili, shredded pork and the like. Who am I kidding--I like my animal proteins, too. But I found that the amount we use in cooking can sometimes be a little excessive. For example, I think I can make chili with 1/4 lb of ground beef as opposed to a half or a whole pound. The rest of the dish can be rounded out with things like beans or cooked veggies. I think it will be beneficial in terms of our health, money and cooking repertoire to find ways to stretch not only our food budget as a whole, but also our meat budget specifically.

Thus the idea of a Meatless Monday was born. I really love the idea of challenging myself to come up with new recipes that Dustin and I will both appreciate, all the while broadening our culinary palettes. If you have any meat-free meal suggestions, I would love to hear them!

So I guess those are my two big goals for the next few months--relax and ENJOY my blogging a little more without being so rigid in my posting/reading behaviors and save more money, especially on food by instituting Meatless Monday and eating less meat over all. Please don't mis-interpret this. I love meat. I am eating BBQ tonight. But I still recognize the benefit of working against my black and white thinking in this department too.

I think this year, I would also like to attend more live concerts, find ways to see my friends more and nourish those relationships, create more constructive hobbies for myself. I think the other, more deeper desires of my heart will follow :)

Well now that I've babbled on and on, let's actually get to some pictures shall we? Revelations, realizations, resolutions and now, RECAP! We were in dust-kickin' Wyoming for Christmas with my family and I loved every minute of it. Except the drive. There is nothing. Oh wait. There are windmills. We made it in time for church on Christmas Eve which is a big tradition for us. All dressed up. D and I got spoiled rotten on Christmas. Every year my mom says she is "cutting back," and every year we laugh at her because she never does. We got lots of amazing things including some new board games (love!!). Actually the best gift was spending time with my family.
Here is a little foodie flashback:



We had two different types of fruit cake, which of course, I was a little weary of. But since my sis made one, I knew it couldn't be bad. Hers is the second photo. I actually loved her recipe. It was rich and spicy, if a little crumbly. But I think that's because she didn't soak it in brandy ;) The first one was more dense and sticky, delightful over Greek yogurt.

Layered sweet potato and apple casserole, semi-stolen from my sister in law, Liz. Hers was better. Mine was slightly under baked, but better second day. Perfect golden turkey with stuffing (my FAVORITE!!)...peppermint pop rocks in my stocking.

No family dinner is complete without a plate of pickles (and you thought I was the only one). Finally, my mom's special fruit salad. Usually we just have it at Thanksgiving, but she is nice and made it per my special request since I wasn't there the first time around.

Well, if you have made it this far through my EPIC post, you deserve a prize for sure! Again, Happy New Year to everyone--I am wishing you all the best.

I have decided it's time for some more R's now, including rest, relaxation and a REMATCH!! If you peeps have never played Blokus, you need to! It's great! What's your favorite board game?? Mine will always and forever be Scrabble, but there is always room for some new loves! Love you! xoxo

Oh, P.S. Had to leave you with one last picture! This is my mom's favorite ornament of me. I made it in preschool and she puts it on the tree every year. Look at what a little shi*, I mean cutie pie, I was! Lol. Do your parents still have these of you?