Best Freaky Friday ever!

Well hey there, hi there, ho there bloggie friends! Gosh, how I have missed you guys! It's 2:00 and I am finally sitting down for probably the first time today. I just thought to myself, Hey! What's that thing I do when I have spare time? Oh yeah! BLOG!! Which explains my lack of decent posting lately--no free time, lots of life getting in the way, but NO apologies :) After all, what's life without a little excitement, huh?

But what better day of the week to come back than Friday, and especially when we can finally make it a FREAKY FOOD Friday! My long lost buddy Janetha B. and I met up for a little blab n gab over lunch yesterday.

So fun! And guess what? She brought me the most amazing thing from her trip to Jamaica!

Betcha never saw this before! What could be more fun (and more freaky) than banana ketchup? Two of my loves united!!

The minute I saw this, I knew EXACTLY how I wanted to try it out. I thought it would be the perfect accompaniment to some baked yams--how delish. (The yams are paler than sweet potatoes, so it doesn't feel quite right to call them cheetas--perhaps leopards instead??)

Wow! This banana ketchup thing really needs to catch on in the U.S.! The ketchup was sweet, sticky and thick with a strong banana flavor and a bit of tang. I swear, with a little dip of this amazing condiment, my yam tasted just like a caramelly banana chip. Very tropical. I almost felt like I was in Jamaica for a sec...and then I remembered it was 30 degrees out side.

Just for fun, I'll show you guys what else I had with my phenomenal potato "chips"

Broiled broccoli, baby steak and massive amounts of caramelized onions--to go with my caramel banana chips, obviously :)

I will be catching up this weekend for sure, and I'm excited to see what everyone's been up to!

I'm off to some family adventures myself. The parentals are in SLC for sissy's birthday this weekend, so I'm sure there will be lots of yummy food, plus some more of this fantastic cake :)

Since I haven't heard from you guys in a long time, tell me: What's the freakiest food you've ever tried from an exotic locale? Maybe a trip to Mexico or Europe--or maybe just a trip to your grandma's house for dinner--do tell! Miss you and love you! xoxo

Good Intentions

Ok, I had every intention of posting on Saturday, I really did! I even had a delicious sammie for ya'll and then things just got out of hand. With my work party, some church stuff and then D's family had their flight canceled so they ended up staying an extra day with us. Plus Dustin was finally NOT working on a weekend for the first time in a while, so we really needed some time to just chill the eff out. I guess I'm not really apologizing because I know everyone understands that sometimes real life is more important than its documentation, but I just hate feeling like a slacker!

Anyway, let's get to some eats shall we? As I mentioned, I did have an office shindig to attend Saturday morning. It was a brunch at a big fancy hotel downtown that is famous for their spread. It was also at 10:00 a.m., which kind of put a cramp in my eating style. Usually I wake up at 5:15, have a good sized breakfast, workout and then have a snack around that time. Being a creature of habit (a.k.a. rigidly enmeshed in routine), having an actual meal at snackie time was kind of throwing me into a quandary. So I tried a little switcheroo: lighter breakfast and pretty darn big brunch.

Because I was opting for something a little lighter, I strayed from my old faithful CCC and celebrated Sammie Saturday instead. Remember how I told you I am obsessed with this cinnamon raisin bread? Yep, still crazy for it!

Semi-inspired by a sweet/savory wafflewhich I spied on Tay's blog way back when, I manufactured a most excellent sammie out of toasted cinnamon raisin bread, egg whites, turkey sausage and ketchup (obviously).
So good, but wait! Something's missing!
Oh yeah. More ketchup! Added for dipping. Much better.

Oh, and a couple of you were interested to see what I ended up cooking for D's family during our Christmas celebration. And since I regretfully only had one delicious sammie to show you this week, I will show you my Friday night festivities instead! I had to take individual pics since it didn't look as tantalizing all glopped on my plate together, but you'll get the idea :)

Ginger glazed ham for the main course. This was actually my first attempt at glazing a ham, and this sucker was huge! I didn't catch any pictures when I first took it out of the oven all dark brown and bubbly--I was too worried about hefting it (and my Pyrex baking dish) onto the counter without damaging anything. It was beautiful though, and perfectly sweet, smoky and salty.

I also made my version of Cauliflower Mac n Cheese from Real Simple. I've linked to the recipe. The only modifications I make are using fat-free sour cream and reduced fat cheese blend, plus a little feta and paremsan thrown in for extra flavor. I sub in some Fiber One for part of the breadcrumb mix and usually use less than the recipe calls for (still plenty). I also usually use a couple of bags of frozen defrosted cauliflower instead of fresh. It cuts prep way down and makes this dish much easier to prepare. My bacon grease, meat and potatoes family actually loves this and so does D, so how bad can it be? Be aware though, that it does make a lot. A lot. The recipe says only six servings, but this fed 6 of us, plus leftover for me and D twice and a tupperware for the sis. Not that I mind--I always like things second day!

I added in some sauteed brussels sprouts for me, with a balsamic reduction a la Janetha. I think my reducing technique needs a little work though. Practice, practice! Still tasty.
Yum. Glad everyone was here and gave me an excuse to show off my mad cooking skillzzz, um, or at least do what I enjoy the most. My philosophy: "I love you, let me feed you!" I really feel like one of the greatest reflections of affection is to share a meal with the people that you care about.

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. Ready for the Christmas countdown? Only 4 days to go!!! xoxo

Thankful/FFF#12

Jeez. No post since Monday. Just call me slacker-face. (Not to be confused with snacker-face, who is much cuter!). But (big sigh of relief) , I have spent my a.m. catching up on all ya'lls blogs and my reader is at zero. Ahhhh.

And even though my computer is all hot and bothered and is probably getting ready to burn a hole in my table, I am now writing my own post, sure to be little long-winded...

It is also sure to be a little more personal and revealing than most of my posts, so if you are more anxious to check out my freak-a-licious food find, please scroll (scroll, scroll)--it'll be worth it when ya get there :)

November is all about the start of the holiday season, and of course, Thanksgiving. It's often an over looked holiday, but I love it in and of itself as opposed to just a kick off to Christmas.

A lot of us are talking about the things we are thankful for, and I wanted to add my own thoughts.

November is an interesting month for me. I have been feeling highly contemplative. It seems as though this month has brought about some sort of medical malfortune in the past , and history seems to be repeating itself . Not anything drastic for the most part, just little instances that make you take a step back and examine the way you are living your life.

While some of these things are a little too close (or not mine) to share on the blog, there is one item I wanted to talk a little about in my most supportive forum....

This time last year is when I began to really list back into the clutches of my eating disorder. I had been battling and resisting for months at that point and could no longer muster the resources for a fight. I was done.

I was pushed to the maximum on all fronts. My job was in a series of upheavals and co-worker drama (why can't we all just get along?). I had gotten in my first ever car accident in my company vehicle--yikes. I was direction-less and therefore unproductive in my work behaviors, which of course led to a huge dissatisfaction in myself.

The holidays were approaching and our families were waging a full on guilt war over where D and I would be spending our time. No matter what my suggestion, offer or attempt, it seemed I just couldn't make any one happy. Least of all myself.

I wanted everything to be perfect....

I don't pass along this info to throw a pity party--simply to suggest my state of mind at the time.

Thanksgiving was spent in tense moments and tears. I was already restricting, counting, measuring. My dad noticed.

Christmas was wrapped in the comfort of ed.

New Year's came and went. Cold.

February, March, April. I got help.

I am thankful for my recovery team. For my nutritionist, my group, therapist one...and shortly, therapist two.

I am thankful that this year will be different.

This year I will bake pies and EAT them. This year, I will share in, and enjoy the family recipes that mean so much to the rest of my family. I will not indulge in self destruction and guilt in stead of togetherness and joy. The holidays will not be just about FOOD, but about the traditions and relationships associated with it--those things that help to normalize eating behaviors and build a life around something besides the calorie count of a piece of fudge.

This year will be scary because I will not be in control of all of my food the way I would like to be.

But I am thankful for the challenge.

Sophia and Allison posed a difficult question the other day, and I wanted to share my response. The question was :

Is full recovery form an eating disorder possible?

here is what I wrote:
Hmmm...complicated question. Hard and fast, I DON'T think full recovery is ever possible. but let me clarify--full recovery from an eating disorder isn't possible like recovery from LIFE isn't possible.

You will never lose that experience, but then, would you really want to? Yes, I wish I didn't have to face these fierce struggles on a daily, hourly, all-the-time basis, but it has made me who I am. It has shaped my life and my spirit and my empathy towards others.

There is a part of me that believes I must have selected this trial in order to LEARN whatever it is that I am supposed to in order to progress.

I suppose I would kind of compare it to the process of repentance. We sin, we grow from our experience. We feel regret, guilt and humility. We turn to our Savior and He offers us complete forgiveness and erasure of our sins in his eyes. But we remember. We rarely forgive ourselves as fully as He is able to. We hold on to that experience to help us learn from our mistakes and become better.

There are many other moments of pain in my life and choices that I wish I could undo or forget, but they have made me who I am today. And I am growing to like that person.

One day I will be free of symptoms from my eating disorder and my thoughts of ed will be very few and far between. My life will be stuffed with things and people and emotions that are greater than food. I will be "recovered." But I will always remember.


Thankful for remembering.

Thankful for a wonderfully supportive husband and mommy, who came down to hold my hand through a particularly difficult and eye-opening doctor's appointment.

Thankful that my body has not given up on me yet.

Thankful for more family joining me and mommy for dinner
Notice how there are two bottles of ketchup on the table--one for ME and one for everyone else :) Thankful for condiments!

...and thankful for a deliciously deranged appetizer that had my name written all over it!

Fried pickles:


Hey, don't knock it til you've tired it! You guys know I usually would rather pluck out my eyelashes than eat something greasy and fried, so it's gotta be good! You also know I love pickles and these were no exception! Hot, battered and so salty. Perfect with ketchup (obv).

Thankful for job that, despite its stresses, allows me to have Fridays off so I can write epic blog posts like this one. :)

Thankful for my blog, my readers, for your support, kind comments and great ideas! You guys had some awesome suggestions to help me out of my food rut, so look out for some new things of YOUR creation here soon.

Thankful for sunshine, grocery shopping and old kickboxing workout videos, all of which are on my agenda for today, as well as meeting with a NEW therapist, as I alluded to above. Wish me luck!

What are you thankful for this Friday? xoxo